When we see someone who is sad, our hearts often soften. We feel compassion, we want to comfort them, and forgiveness flows more naturally. But when we see someone who is happy, especially someone who may have hurt us before, our reaction can be very different. Instead of sharing in their joy, we may feel envy or resistance. Forgiveness suddenly feels harder.
This raises a gentle question: why is it easier to forgive sadness than happiness? Perhaps it is because sadness stirs our compassion, while joy sometimes stirs our own pain. Yet true forgiveness means being able to accept both - the tears and the smiles of another - without letting our own wounds get in the way.
History gives us many reminders of this. Those who lived with deep joy often faced misunderstanding. Jesus radiated peace, yet was crucified. Krishna’s joy invited attacks, and he had to move his city to protect his people. Buddha and Mahavira carried a lightness that many could not accept, and so they faced disrespect. Joy, it seems, has always been harder for the world to forgive than sorrow.
Even today, we see the same tendency. When people ask for donations, they show pictures of suffering rather than happiness. When we ask for sympathy, it is usually in sadness, not in joy. Somehow, we are conditioned to respond more openly to pain than to peace.
But forgiveness is not only about easing someone’s sorrow. It is also about making peace with their happiness. Can we allow another person to smile, to laugh, to live freely, even if they once hurt us? This is where forgiveness becomes deeper, and also more healing.
Here is a small practice to begin with. Close your eyes and bring to mind someone who has wronged you. Instead of remembering them in pain, see them smiling. See their face lit up with joy. And then, gently say to yourself: “I forgive you.”
At first, this may not feel easy. But even trying softens something inside. With every attempt, you release a little bit more of the burden you have been carrying. Forgiving someone in their happiness is perhaps the truest form of forgiveness, because it allows your own heart to be free.
- Gaurav Chikara